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Scaredofclownz
I do talk some shit!
Horse anorexia. It’s serious!
I know this blog is mostly me taking the piss out of stuff (actually, that’s pretty much all it is). However, I want to take this opportunity to talk about a subject that’s very dear to my heart, and very often overlooked by the media. Horse anorexia.
You may not know but many horses have serious body issues, and will often starve themselves to look like the horses on the covers of magazines like Perfect Horse, Horse Rider or Horse. Some of them will even stick their hooves in their mouths to make themselves sick after meals. I don’t quite know how they do this, but apparently they do.
I’m going to stand up, take action and save these poor bloody horses. But first I need your help!
It’s easy saving an anorexic horse. All you need to do is get a bin bag filled with grass and hold a gun to it’s head while making it eat the grass.
It only takes 10 hours to fill a bin bag with grass, getting hold of the gun is the tricky bit.
However, if you can’t get access to an anorexic horse, or you simply can’t be bothered, you can simply just eat the bag of grass yourself while looking at a picture of a horse, or thinking of a horse. Another alternative is maybe have the theme tune to Black Beauty playing as you’re eating the grass.
Remember, you have to eat the whole bag, otherwise what’s the point?
Now get out there and save some horses!
Tweet-O-The Week
Look, angry ticket woman on train, it’s not my fault that you hate your job, or that you look like a weird combination of the two actresses from Birds Of A Feather.
Scaredofclownz
Perfect Fried Chicken.
I’ll be the judge of that!
At first I wasn’t sure if i should have them with chips, but in the end I thought “fuck it”, it had been a long day.
Now don’t worry, I’m not going to let the chips interfere with the overall experience of the wings. To be on the safe side I’m going to eat the chips first, then go out and come back in wearing a different t-shirt before I try the wings.
Appearance
Bless them, they’ve had a go. I can see some fake flowers dotted around, on closer inspection they look as though they’ve been stuck up with tape.
Atmosphere
Like being at the wedding reception of a really poor couple who don’t have any friends, or actually love each other.
Taste
Wow, the first thing I have to note is the spicy coating-to-chicken ratio is pretty much 50/50. They’ve caked them in the stuff! Not that I’m complaining, more places should do this. Don’t be shy, fucking whack it on!
Overall experience
I feel a tiny bit like my stomach is on fire.
Fake Horoscope-Aquarius
Fuck those whores in Horse Rider and Horse magazine. They’re probably all on drugs, or sucking off the editor.
Horse of the day 16/02/2012
Fucking skinny bitch.
Kidz Bookz
I’ve always wanted to write children’s fiction, which is strange because I don’t actually like children, or writing for that matter.
Anyway, here is an excerpt from one story I’m working on;
Once upon a time there was a girl called Sally. She had great big teeth, like a horse.
That’s all I have at the moment.
Watch this space!
